Books and linen and flip-flops...oh my

This was Cherokee; I stopped on the way to my friend's, on the way up to visit her one last time. She is on her way to Ruidoso, NM. I helped her get started. Packing box after box; actually mostly empty cases formerly packed with exotic beer.
She said fill them so they all weigh the same; couple books, some linen, topped off with a pair or two of flip-flops. New flip-flops, old flip-flops, certain styles in a variety of colors, most very girlie and fun.
Labels, I marked them with a Sharpie, piled the boxes up on the front deck, in one corner. Just a small dent in the contents of her house, that needed to be packed, but it was a start and that is what needed to get done.
We needed to get started. Same with my job hunt. I finally got started. Now I ask everyone I meet. Just needed a jump start.

No more camp coffee in the morning

Little things mean so much and add pleasure and value to life. At work, at the office, we have long suffered from camp coffee syndrome. Another symptom of sad life clinging to a sinking ship. Too cheap to find and buy the correct sized coffee filters, we carefully made coffee with little tiny filters sized for half the volume of grounds as must be used to make passable coffee using the restaurant style coffee makers. Pre-measured hot water flows rapidly through inadequate sized filter overflowing the grounds into the coffee pot and leaving the coffee drinkers to pick the grounds from between their teeth before going to meetings.

This tradition has finally been put to rest. The pleasure and happy satisfaction of confidently making and pouring fresh Peet's coffee for the all important first cup at 5 AM makes all the difference in the world to me. I could work here forever now. If they would only make me an offer...

Last visit with Dr.Low

She said "You are saying all the right words. You need to work on acting on your own best advice"
I say...good trick

She said "Take 24: delay acting on your impulses. Wait 24 hours before acting on any obsession"
I say...OK another game I can play with myself

She said "Practice doing the right thing. Start fresh each day"
I say...I like to think that way...it fits my psyche

She said "Save yourself!"
I say...but what about all the other souls I'm trying to save

She said "You are overfed...food will not rescue you"
I ask...no more calming myself with carbs?

She said "Who do you think you are...god?"
I say...well no but, I have learned how to survive and I believe I can teach others

She said "Be focused on the dog...you will learn about yourself"
I say...amen.

How do you spell god? I spell it Cesar.

Cesar Millan is my hero. Who else could bring religious fervor to a cold atheist soul. He is my new best friend and the savior of my relationship with Rave. I may finally learn how to parent from watching the "Dog Whisperer" on NTGEO/National Geographic Channel. I recently changed my satellite network pkg so that channel is included and dropped HBO. Nothing on HBO in the next few months...(no new Sopranos, nor Bill Maher, nor Carnivale). I look forward to the Closer, but I worship Cesar.

His shows are a series of one or two miracles each half hour. He has clarity and knows how to demonstrate sane behavior. It looks like well rehearsed fakery. After getting sucked into the first show, I went downstairs and tried something simple on Rave. She knew immediately what was the haps. It was cool. Suddenly, I had learned a new language...dog. No more screaming; barking has been replaced by gentle persuasion. A look or not looking, a touch or a gesture...it just works.

I am usually calm but now I practice solid calm and open aware. And Rave knows it. So does my daughter. It so works on people. In fact that is Cesar's tagline. "He rehabilitates dogs and trains people." That is exactly what I need. I was never taught how to parent and I have always known I was not a good parent. I'm a good person and I've got by on my merits and morals, loosely defined and constantly evolving as they are.

Now I learn how to behave. I am learning how to behave like the leader of the pack. I am confident in my role. I know who I am and how to talk and walk. I make my expectations clear and correct when I need to give feedback. Late in life to be learning the basics but surely not too late. Practice, lots of practice and patience. I'll never be perfect but I can see improvement daily. That is rewarding and inspirational. I love Rave and I love C. I can tell they love me too. We are all learning manners and how to communicate. I do not know how to spell g o d but I do know how to spell dog (whisperer).