Midnight Mass - OM

December 24 Christmas Eve flows warmly into December 25 Christmas Day, 2005 at Stanford Memorial Church. Midnight Mass is cool and the night is balmy. Incense brings it all back for me. Hard to explain but I spent many hours in church at St. Bonaventure in Allegany NY. Serene quiet hours in my best dresses and shiny shoes, performing ritual motions and emotions automatically, while my mind spun off elsewhere. Eventually, I followed it.

Party at my house Friday night December 23, 2005, so I get to sleep in. Saturday night we go to church to sing and pray and listen to a choir and tenor soloist with harpist accompanying. The church is lovely and crowded. My mom does not know why I am there, but mostly it is about her. My mom, my dad, and my aunty. I do what the rest of my family do; I pray, for what it is worth. I told C that we were banking some important religious parenting points that I rarely bring to the table.

The priest said we would feel better about ourselves by the time we left the service. He was right. But maybe not in exactly the way he anticipated. How could he have known what breaking out the special, classic incense would do for me. That was a rare rush. Worth doing it again next year but I would like to arrive earlier, to have more quiet time for meditation. That place inspires deep thoughts. Or is it the soft clink clinking sound of the incense burner chiming against its long chain. OM (AM/PM/OM)

Child Advocates

I've got to write about this now. Soon I'll complete the background check and finger prints and character references and court observation and training sessions. At some point in the spring I'll be sworn in and somehow make a choice; get an assignment as an officer of the court. Using my unemployment time to train for this volunteer position.

Not an adoption, but an alliance with a girl or a boy of a certain age, with a set of circumstances, a life with enough chaos to trigger the Santa Clara, CA courts to remove the child from their biological family. My new friend.

I wonder how long before my new buddy thinks I am their friend?

I think I can do this. I think I can do this well. I think I have done it for my own child. I think it is important to help each other. I think this life is all we have. All I have. Love is all I have to give this holiday season. I learned to take care of myself. I think I can teach another soul how to take care of themselves and learn to love. That is what this is all about. Passing it on and paying it forward.

Jack-Jack is ready for his mammogram

Markers in place, stuck on his chest where he might have had points, if he was not a Pixar character doll (swag), he laughs maniacally when his string is pulled. Maybe he laughs because he will never get his boobs smashed between two glass plates, while the clamps tighten. He doesn't have to hold his breath, as the technician runs out to flip the switch. Well, he can't breath period, but that is not the reason he laughs.

One of us forgot to carefully remove the markers when getting dressed. There is a drawing of a fruit tree on the dressing room wall. The mammogramee is supposed to wait patiently until the technician gives the all clear on clean shots, and permission to get dressed. If not clean, go back and do it again only clamp the glass plates tighter. The little markers from previous mammogramees hang like strange fruit on the drawing of a tree. Jack-Jack wears his markers proudly and laughs maniacally when his string is pulled, because he does not have boobs. He only pretends he is going to get a mammogram, because one of us was so excited and relieved when she got the all clear, she just wore them home.

Story of Amie

This is the story of Amie. Amie is the puppy I got for my daughter to keep my daughter from running away. She threatened to run and then brought home stray cats. She hovered over adoption events at the local pet stores. She hugged and kissed every dog she met and cried about not having a dog of her own. I was not a dog person but I became one.

We went to dog shows. We read dog encyclopedias. We discussed and negotiated and I bought her a puppy for Christmas 5 years ago. Amie. Somehow, through our ignorance, Amie became my dog. Amie is a Papillon. She is smart, loyal, tiny. She barks, she licks, chases cats, and she is always nearby. She has come camping with us and traveled across the country with me. Willingly!

She wanted to be with me every minute. We tried to make her sleep with C but Amie had a doggy mind of her own and dug in her paws; she protested, she rebelled. She growled and snapped and got more and more defensive of her position in my bed, on my pillow.

I was also phobic about snakes. No more. Learned to love them too. The story of Amie is a story about love and the journey of a mother and child. Something that happened because I let go and let my baby lead me. We take turns leading now and it is happy happy joy joy!

No Sleep Tonight

Traveling gypsies live for the nonce at a small house in upstate NY. There are wild animals, and stormy weather surrounding them. I am visiting. There are so many things to do and people to see, once again I lose track of time, and stay too long. I have to rush to a train in a long dark tunnel. I miss my plane because I can't find my ticket.

I have a baby who must be carried, and I worry how to pick and choose what I can take with me. I pack bags full of needless trinkets and toys. There is one puzzle that will set me free from the pursuit of the law. I am running from the law, because of my association with the gypsies. The puzzle is a game that I entice them into playing. I can demonstrate how to solve it but I never win.

There are long hallways and secret shortcuts to attics and basements that do not exist. I share a room with my sister, Mary. She shows me an elaborate way to open the upstairs window properly. It is like a dance. My bed is always moved and rearranged when I get home each night and I re-assemble everything in my room over and over each time I come home to sleep. There is a party below in the back yard. There is a band.

(I wrote all this illegibly in a notebook after waking from fitful sleep and vivid dreams. That post turkey-day double dessert and double espresso, at work.)

the GREEN FLASH

Between the first and second images, I saw the Green Flash. My eyes saw it but the camera did not. Not this time but I have another goal now. Catch the Green Flash.

These photos were taken at sunset on the beach at Neskowin, OR. during the last week in October 2005.

Bill Maher

No god help for me; Bill's season is over with tonight's show. I sob. I sol. I blog my sorrow even as he defends the popularized pronunciation of his name over a classic Irish pronunciation. I may be dead by February. Bird flu don't ya know. Me and mine with no health insurance. Looking for free flu shots in my area. Regular flu. Wonder what folks do when they do not have health insurance. Maybe I will find out. Maybe not. I gamble. Advice? I've decided COBRA is too much $$$, if I must choose between making mortgage payments for 6 months or health insurance payments for 12 months. Regardless, I gotta have my HBO and SBC/DSL. I cannot work, nor play, nor greet the day... without coffee, satellite TV, and Email. And now no Bill till Feb. Might as well be dead.

Meet Rosa Parks

Road-side memorials. Sometimes they flash by quickly while you are rounding a curve in the highway at high speed. Other times, they appear as if magically, and unfortunately, right in your neighborhood. Then there is the media blitz surrounding Rosa's funeral today, while Prince Charles and not Diana visit the White House. Surreal. Life.

Book List

Theory of Almost Everything

Script Supervisor

Project Management

Eat Alone? Not!

My good friends at RLG gave me an Amazon gift certificate as a farewell. So this is the list of books I ordered. Something odd, something new, something practical, and something cosmic. Now I must solve the problem of what to read first.

Eat like a Samoan

Near Arcada, CA. you can. (tune: Walk like an Egyptian) We did not stop this time. We ate in Florence, OR,( twice) at the ICM. This is the mural that graces the inside of the restaurant. ICM also has the best loo hardware. Sometimes the clam chowder that is made fresh every day comes with a bottle cap but only if you are a very special customer. Start drinking beer with lunch. Alaskan Amber.

Wifey

So what does wifey do? Always wondered what it would be like to be a wife. Now I get a taste. Kid works 10 hour day setting up new Petsmart store. I do a little cleaning, a little cooking, walk the dog, confer with the landscaper, take a nap, watch a movie. ("Sideways" - not worth reviewing)

Did not laze away on a chaise and eat bonbons. But did take the time to brush the dog's teeth and clean some things that don't get cleaned often. (like the incense burner). Yesterday, I spent 4+ hours on the phone with friends and financial counselors. None of that today. I have successfully sent out feelers for jobs and so far no serious responses. That is perfect since I still plan a trip up the coast; leaving next Tues.

Until then, while the kid works I will play wifey.

Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) Movie Review

Don't read this if you have NOT seen the movie. I've been too explicit.


I was very excited to find someone who wanted to see "Wallace and
Gromet" the movie, with me. I had laughed so hard I almost wet my pants
over the shorts (the evil penguin and the wrong pants) but OMG - The
(Were Rabbit) movie was not funny! Primarily, it lacks the comedic
timing that the shorts had honed to painful perfection. This movie has
no subtlety. No sneaky surprises. Not even any really creative
elements. The funniest thing was Lady Tottington's crazy hair-do and
the decorations that changed with each shot. But that grew old really
fast. And the movie sports a gigantic plot hole. Wallace is restored at
the end but his brain-swap with the Were Rabbit seems not to have been
reversed at the same time. What gives with that? Not for adults. I say
only funny for 9 years and under. Even 9 year olds might squirm with
disinterest. What happened? Did someone run out of juice? Is that why
it took 5 years? It seems to be a waste of voice talent. and time and
money. At least I saw it as a bargain matinée (in exotic Angels Camp)
so not a complete loss.

In the meantime

(When I'm not fervently reviewing CraigsList for jobs)

Lots of Redwoods action. This past weekend and then again yesterday, walking around in the tall tress, groves of ancient giants. 1000 to 2000 years old. Makes you think...makes me think. I'm trying to put the rest of my working life in a perspective I can live with. That is, live.

Networking lunch ends my week at Thurs. noonish. Thurs. is the new Friday. My new Friday. Planning a trip up the coast later this month. Ideas? I need more ideas for things to do that will keep me occupied and having too much fun to obsess about building a resume.

Hire me...please!

10/13 Distributed to friends, hairdresser, random folks I meet. Will I get a bite based just on these free* personal cards? Free if you don't mind waiting until Xmas to get them. Cost more if you want them sooner. Check out: VistaPrint. They have a cool site and very good quality products.

This is an experiment. They say (they?) that 85% to 95% of jobs get filled through networking. And those jobs are not advertised/posted anywhere, except internally.

Hire me please. But only if you are Apple, Yahoo or some other fun place to work. I work hard. I am creative, intelligent, and I don't even know what a box looks like. I want 6 figures.

PS:

resume-thanks@google.com

to me

More options

Mar 23

We received your resume and would like to thank you for your interest in
Google. After carefully reviewing your experience and qualifications, we
have determined that we do not have a position available which is a strong
match at this time.

Thanks again for considering Google. We wish you well in your endeavors
and hope you might consider us again in the future.

Sincerely,
Google Staffing


(actually, no you did not get a resume from me...I sent you this. Seems Google Staffing has no sense of humor. oh well)

Back on the shelf again

Bad karma day, Sunday Sept 25. My espresso machine burned out and so did the power-source for my laptop. More than a coincidence? I don't believe so. When shopping for an inexpensive coffee making machine, came upon this one. Wow. Just what I was looking for. A blessed gift toward wedded bliss, that I could love, and care for, and use every day. Perfect!

She is 18 and she can do what she wants

outline


18th birthday

Free from RLG - the final chapter... be careful what you wish for

WooHoo. I just got my two weeks notice. I am gainfully unemployed. It feels great. I wonder how it will feel if do not get a job in the next few months and the money runs out? Right now, I don't see any reason to expect I'll get there. I am eternally optimistic. My friends have been unanimously supportive and I hope I saved some other soul from an unwanted layoff.

I gamble but I feel lucky. I'm 53 and I should know what I want. Cube pix.

Refrigerator Collage

I cherish the note from my run-away bunny. Nice little send off.

Count down...

I found a great new shrink. Dr Low. I got my farewell massage. I had a last super with my sweet baboo. And here is Amie, reclining on my pillow, showing off her new black leather medicine bag/tag holder that our very sweet neighbor gave us for the trip. It even has a lavender bead.

We are due at Rustic Resort in CO late afternoon on the 16th. Then who knows. The surprise party is in Cazenovia on the 26/27. We could go to Vermont first or Long Island. TBA.

Allegany will be the longest and last stop, looks like. Rick and Mary say we can crash at their house. We be Amie and me. C stays here with her two paid gigs. We will all miss each other but this is shaping up to be a monumental road trip and foray back in time to my childhood haunts.

Also checking out some new places in CO, but not Mt Rushmore! No dogs allowed at Mt. Rushmore. Those founding fathers must really pissed off about that new rule. Cripes!

Crash (Movie Review)

Don't read this if you have NOT seen the movie. I've been too explicit.


This is a great movie, in my book. Interesting, scary, funny, emotional. It is a defined slice but could have been taken from many other metro/melting pot urban centers. LA was OK and somewhat reflected in the superficial characters; they seemed to be presented at the depth that network TV shows present characters.

I think this was an effective way to make the material likeable to the broadest audience, playing to the mean. However, I found it presented the good side/bad side too rigorously. The movie gave away it's formula too early. I already figured the ammo was blanks, long before we got a view of the red box.

The use of sequencing vignettes was neatly done, tying the beginning to the end in a mobius strip. I could have watched it unfold again. I was distracted by the playback. The sound track was too intrusive. It could be that a grittier, harsher, less polished product might be unwatchable. But I would surely like to see it redone.

It inspired me to try to be even more kind than usual. I will need to be tolerant and kind as I'm traveling back in time and space to my past, to the substantially much less mixed culture, that my family lives in. One more reason it is good that C stays here. Amie and I will be the ambassadors from CA.

Free from RLG

What would you do if today was the first day of the rest of your life?



We made appointments to get our spines aligned by Dr. Deb, at 12:15. Plenty of time to sleep in and make coffee.

Then we further adjusted our attitudes with a late brunch at our new fav Original Pancake House. C had fresh seasonal berries with cream and powdered sugar and I had a latte and coconut waffle. We also shared hashbrowns with real pieces of potato. Yum!

Then we shopped for shoes, and pet supplies, and came home to nap. Tonight we will see a movie together. 'Crash' - review tomorrow.

It was a really nice mother/daughter day. I sang a little song as I walked the dog this morning, (tune) 'I'm Free!...free from RLG' For at least three weeks, maybe longer. First day of a long awaited vacation...I wanted it to be special.

The picture above is from my last vacation, last summer. The Oregon coast is my favorite place to be me.

What would you do if today was the first day of the rest of your life?

35th High School Reunion - ACS

Allegany Central High School, Class of 1970.

Not going to the reunion but I think about home and family and friends every year, first weekend in August. Not sure how I will get by without the "Beef and Bird" this time.

* Allegany Central School Alumni Dinner Dance at the Robert H. Livingston Community Center. Cocktails will be served starting at 5:30 PM with dinner beginning at 6:30 PM. Dancing to follow from 9:00 PM until 12:00 Midnight. Reservation forms have been sent to all alumni.


* Alumni coming in town meet at various locations


Last time I made the scene my class met in the front room of "The Burton" an historic hotel/bar on Main Street. My classmates all knew me...took me some time to recognize their faces cause it is so long between visits home.

Jump start

What happens to the karma balance on a day like today. Spare the air day. Free mass transit until 9 AM. Too bad I did not hear about that until it was in the past.

As I was about to drive 8 miles to my office in the next town up highway 101, my neighbor indicated he needed a jump. His VW Passat was parked head in, in his garage. He has a steep driveway. I thought at first that we might push him out so my truck could be face to face with his car, on the level street, but no. He had just l o n g enough jumper cables; I put the truck as far as I could into his garage, at a perilous slant, and held it there while he performed the hook up between my battery and his.

I had fired up the 98 Ford Ranger and backed out as usual; that is quickly with no time to waste gas and smelly exhaust in front of my house. I do not let the truck 'warm up' before driving off. So on a slant and unable to turn off the engine, I needed to get the idle up before it stalled cause it was not warmed up. Kicked off my left strappy clog and moved my left toes into position across my right foot on the brake, in order to rev the engine and keep the idle going.

See my truck is a standard five speed, the break pedal is small, not double wide like on a automatic. Only one foot fits and there is no way to switch feet without letting it roll slightly. Not an option under the circumstances, and no the parking break will not hold the truck from rolling on an incline. I was real happy with myself at the time for having the coordination to make that genius move.

But, I was reminded later, not only had a I made a sinful solo commute on 'spare the air day', but I had enabled another slacker to do the same. Ha! Good Samaritan my eye! I was so proud of myself, so proud to be an American, so proud of the Discovery space shuttle's successful launch just moments before.

Modern life is confusing. Did we waste fuel and pollute the environment or make a giant leap for mankind and maybe do a good deed for the day. I would feel better about the karma balance if I could walk to work.

Surprise Party - shhhhhh

invite

I gotta get there somehow.

Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince

HPDay1

Don't call us, we are busy reading. No time for sleep or chores. Late into the night Friday night I received two messages from Amazon, stating that the special copy I had pre-ordered for us would be delayed until the 19th via USPS. So I suggested standing on line at the local Border's for the midnight party and book sale (30% off). Gotta have our Harry Potter 6.

That accomplished and tucked in at 3AM. We got a late start on our reading jag Saturday. And lo, the doorbell rang insistently around noon. Little barking dog did not scare the postman away. He was determined to deliver our copy of Harry Potter from Amazon. Cool! Now we have two copies.

The lesson: well there are at least a few good reasons to celebrate HPDay2005,
1) JK R rules the earth
2) Amazon and Border's stock should be soaring
3) Friends will get in line to read your extra copy
4) Your rainbow boas can entertain the other folks in the midnight bookstore queue
5) It is really hot outside, so chilling and reading fits the weather just fine

Sunday Morning Service

MtVMarket
Every Sunday morning, all year, rain or shine, the Mountain View Farmer's Market offers church goers and non-church goers alike, a selection of mostly organic, fresh fruits and veggies and baked goods. We have made it a traditional Mother/Daughter activity that gives us a chance to spend time together. Even if we decide to argue about stuff, it is a comfortable time that I really enjoy.

July 4th: Camping on a crowded beach

CApoppies Don't usually camp on a major holiday weekend but the opportunity presented itself and I was unable to resist. Campgound on a bluff with the waves crashing below and fireworks going off all day and all night.

I'm reading "Dahlgren" by SAMUEL R. DELANY. This is a sort of stream of consciousness, that has occasional insights that resonate and reverberate for me; from early 1970's when I was at Stony Brook. 'Rap' has certainly changed meaning since then.

I nap, snack, walk on the beach, hang, shower, read, nap, sun, walk over the dunes to another beach, watch the sun set, build a fire, listen to the surf, sleep, wish for coffee, a hot crisp waffle appears (thanks to new friends). Get cleaned up and wait for other friends to go out to eat Thai food at Bangkok West, drink champagne and Chambord, smoke, follow them home over Summit Road to sleep in my own bed and take in a professional fireworks show. Then, Amie and I go back over 17 for two more days of lazy beach camping.

Class of 2005

Cira

What would you like for graduation? Some little girls want a car and some want cloths or an exotic vacation. Some want a big fancy party. But some want snakes. So we got a pair of Brazilian Rainbow Boas. She earned a 3.6 over-all and she is going to De Anza next year. I'm happy and very proud of her.

I've learned to like the snakes; they are very mellow and soothing to handle. And strikingly beautiful. Happily, I'm over my snake phobia now, her graduation gift to me, and I suppose if we keep going I could learn to get over myself, completely. That would be a giant leap in evolution.

Father's Day Gift

3Ous Here we are, just the three of us. Soon to develop into ten little Indians. My dad, James Richard Carls went off to the Korean War shortly after this photo was taken. I did not recognize him when he came back. I still don't know him very well. I forced him to teach me how to drive. We have been at odds since then.

I send him books and interesting mysteries to solve and he solves them with dogged determination. One time, I caused a riot on Christmas day by sending a box of gifts without the little cards that say who should get which wrapped package. I keep changing my phone answering habits and used to leave gag messages on my answering machines. I thought it would be more humorous than annoying but it seems to have been most annoying to the folks at home.

This year, for his birthday/Father's Day, I sent him a large print book by James Brady, about the Korean War; but it was out of print and came from a private individual who was selling a used copy through Amazon. By the grace of god and my dad's perseverance, he found out that it was me who sent it. It is interesting to me what the imagined solution of the puzzle was, compared to the true solution.

Anyway, thanks dad for the mass of curly hair and 5'10'' height, I got from you.

Lords of Dogtown

dogtown

Lords of Dogtown went to second run theatres with impressive speed. Why? Is this part of a strategy to move it to cult classic by artificial means? The DVD could be smoking. I think this is a great movie. There is a story; it is all story: lots of action, character development, romance. This is the kind of docu-drama that has something for everyone. Even guys. Yeah guys.

Story of a time and place, and a happening. Something changed forever. My life, those wheels. and the sport that evolved from another sport, and became part of a lifestyle that did not depend on access to surf. Brought it inland to urban America.

I criticize the cloths (costumes too clean, new, neat, obviously modern), the PG13 rating (so not true of what was really going on) and Heath Ledger's teeth. Very distracting. His acting was fantastic but those damn false teeth got in the way of my accepting him in character. That was a mistake.

I lament that so few people will sit through the credits. My movie partner did so this time, under protest. One other person behind us stayed. The music was great and the credits ended with shots of the original Z Boys skating. Stay for the credits folks.

Secret coffee spot

Krispy Kreme Coffee is hot and really good at the Krispy Kreme drive-through. It is my most valuable secret source of coffee: easy on, easy off, never a line in these times of low-carb obsession. The only trick is driving through without buying a dozen warm, melt in your mouth glazed doughnuts. I admit I bought one the first time but I have resisted most mornings since then. I made up the rule that I could only try each variety once, ever. So I'm not in a big hurry to complete sampling the menu choices. I try to make a late morning latte last until early afternoon. So good for your java jones!

What's for dinner?

eggplchoke These are artichokes that are dark purple in color, have minimal spines, and very small chokes. They have a more fibrous texture and slightly earthy taste. Did a brave eggplant invade the sacred breeding ground of the artichoke to form this strange fruit? Take two...they are small.

We ate them while watching the taped season finale of "Lost". I hope the build up is worth it. They were quite generous and provided flashbacks for all the major characters that had rolled out over the first season. This could be one of the few (two?) shows worth watching on local channels. Will this show blossom in it's second season? We hope.

60 minutes with Mina

I need a therapy session right now. My therapist has opted for a shorter commute and I have lost her, but she has gained quality in her everyday life that is deserved.

Many aspects of my life are out of control. When I have no control, it is very hard for me to let go. I have always been a fight or flight person, when a crisis hits. When cornered, I usually try to solve the problem to my own satisfaction, or run away.

This strategy served me well in the past, so it is very difficult to change that pattern. Self preservation kept me alive and moving forward in life. I never gave up, but I did walk away when I could not solve the problem.

I am learning how to just take a deep breath and let what is happening be OK. And keep going. Keep going to work every day, keep loving my kid. Keep managing to get from paycheck to paycheck. SSRI's help. (Selective Seritonin Re-uptake Inhibitors) A lot.

I told Mina that I had started a blog for Caitlin and that it was also going to be an outlet for me to spew when she (Mina) was no longer around. I made a fake one hour session appointment in my calendar today. 60 minutes with Mina, means I get to carve an hour out of my busy schedule , to think about what I CAN do to improve my own life. Then, after I have de-compressed and flushed my buffer, I can go back to taking care of everyone else. I have put off my own vacation too long but I recognize that and have plans for treating myself soon.

The bloody details of what is pushing me over the precipice today are boring and really not significant. Doing something about it before I crash, IS important. Choosing to do something to rescue myself is the right thing to do. That is what I learn from Mina.

I need to take care of myself the way I try to take care of others. Like my little dog, and my kid, and my job, and my parents, and on and on.

And so should you. When every day is Groundhog Day, learn to like Sonny and Cher "I Got You, Babe"

CraigsList - Truck trade - SF Bay area or anywhere in the universe

Craigslist is a great place to buy and sell things and even hook up by placing local personnal ads. That is what I have heard anyway.
So far I've received 20 offers to buy my truck. Which would be cool if I wanted to sell it.
But no...I had this brilliant idea that I could find someone to TRADE with on Craigslist! No takers but I have not heard from any alien civizations yet. Maybe someone out there will have an automatic transmission vehicle to trade for my 98 Ford Ranger. Maybe they won't call it a truck.
I noticed a little link at the bottom of my posting form asking if I want to transmit my listing to outer space. Sure, yes please!

Friday night date

I have a date with Bill most Friday nights. He got me through the election. But now what are we going to do until mid-August '05? Gotta catch his standup act. Or wring a few more laughs out of the re-runs thanks to DVR. Luv you Bill...till then...I cry.

Mom and me

mom Me - 3 months old maybe. June maybe. Allegany for sure. Happy Mother's day mom. Orma Belle (Bloomingdale) Carls.

The Stanford Powwow

powwow
This year we broke tradition and went on Saturday. I still have never been there after dark but that is something to look forward to, yes? It was well attended on Sat...crowded even and not so easy to get a view of the dancing.
This year it was all about earrings. I got the predictable pair of turquoise and silver with black accents, like a sunset, and a pair, silver with little clusters of 4 opals each. C was able to shop for her own much more elaborate earrings for her newly pierced ears. Rain is expected on Sunday (mother's day), our usual day at the Powwow. Sunday will be prom dress shopping day this year.

The Stanford Powwow May 6-8, 2005

Lick Observatory Tix

lick Summer visitor program is open for tickets on May 16th.